Making new holiday traditions

Over the years since we merged our lives, hubby and I have often discussed which of the traditions we each grew up with are important enough to share with our boy. Not surprisingly, we have found that our two faiths have something wonderful in common: family is the most precious gift of all, no matter what you’re celebrating.

Strolling through a shopping mall this week, I couldn’t help feeling sorry for the harried-looking, teeth-gritting parents body-slamming their way from store to store, arguing loudly with their spouses via their iPhones.

“Look, we went to your mother’s house last Christmas Eve, and I think we all remember what a disaster that was,” snapped a mother pushing twins in a stroller overflowing with packages of holiday decorations. “This year, we’re going to my aunt’s, and I’m done discussing it…”

“Honey, I told you: we have to buy one gift for each of the eight days of Hanukkah, because your grandmother will cry if we don’t,” warned a man juggling a 20-pound bag of potatoes, no doubt readying himself for a marathon potato-pancake-making festival. “Remember how my uncle yelled his head off last year when we ran out of candles for the menorah? Couldn’t we just avoid all of them this year?”

I sighed contentedly, okay, maybe a bit smugly. Contrary to most people’s often futile and no doubt complicated plans to celebrate the same holiday with several families at the same time, our little interfaith family of three has it pretty easy. We do the eight-day candle-lighting bonanza with my Jewish family, then head up to the little cottage my mother-in-law was born in to hang with Santa. It’s a no-brainer.

Our six-year-old son is doubly blessed, receiving heaps o’ presents for both holidays. He starts his extensive wish list the day after Halloween, and figured out years ago that between three doting grandparents and two major holidays, he’ll reap some serious swag.

He’s as comfortable hanging Christmas lights outside with dad as he is happy to keep track of how many Hanukkah candles to light, because “Mommy can’t even remember where her cell phone is”.
For my trio-shaped family, it’s all about celebrating different faiths that happen to have matching spiritual and moral beliefs. We’ve discovered that interfaith holiday traditions can create positive memories, too, and we’re establishing our own quirky ones along the way.

Take this year, for example: for the first time in my husband’s life, he won’t be welcoming Xmas morning at the cottage. Instead, we’re packing up my mother-in-law and sailing away together to celebrate her 65th birthday at sea. At first, I worried that messing with tradition might cause hurt feelings. But we’ll be decorating Christmas cookies in the middle of an ocean while carolers wander up and down the ship’s decks – what could be cooler than that?

Over the years since we merged our lives, hubby and I have often discussed which of the traditions we each grew up with are important enough to share with our boy. Not surprisingly, we have found that our two faiths have something wonderful in common: family is the most precious gift of all, no matter what you’re celebrating.

Wendy Helfenbaum is a writer, television producer and last-minute holiday shopper. Visit her at http://www.taketwoproductions.ca.