Unforgettable shared vacations

Ah! Summer is finally here. Not that the weather for our first real long weekend would indicate that! Reading Danielle Harder’s ‘Surviving a shared family vacation’ story brought to mind a recent trip my family had experienced.

My family moved from a small island nation about 18 months ago, leaving behind dear friends of ours. They decided to visit us recently and it seemed as if no time had passed. Our four children got along near perfectly — barring the infrequent spat over a beloved toy. (We’ve now learned to buy two of each!)

Here are some particular points I find relatable:

Find Mr. and Mrs. Right
We did that. Prior to having children we found a couple that we truly enjoyed. They are the yin to our yang — truly. They like to travel in style, comfort, and luxury. We, however, are Canadian so we like to travel in comfort and style but also get value for money. In fact, it was during a trip to Puerto Rico that I nearly fainted when we booked a room for $255 a night. (Was that for one room or a beachfront cottage?)

Over the years we accepted that if we wanted to travel as couples, we would all have to compromise. Now, we never compromise on quality but we do try to work within our budgets.

It’s very rare to find a couple with whom you enjoy everyone’s company. Sometimes you may love the husband but can’t stand his needling wife or the wife may be fun loving and the husband miserly. If you find this perfect combination, in which you each complement the other, never let go. We equally love each other — all four of us.

Plan ahead
I’m the planner in the group. My husband refers to me as ‘Monica’ from Friends. Jibes aside, I never really fly by the seat of my pants. I hate that feeling when you arrive somewhere and you are unprepared — especially if you have children. In fact, during our friends’ last visit I was ridiculed endlessly for packing a cooler of supplies — food, drink, and snacks – for a two-day trip to Niagara Falls. They laughed at me, commenting on how ridiculous it would look bringing a cooler into a hotel. Well they weren’t laughing when their four-year-old son wanted a sandwich, pretzels and a drink box and I had them on hand. When they wanted drinks, I had a cold rum and coke ready to go. Laugh away people. (I’ve learned not to take any of it personally — I did forget plates though!)

In addition to being unprepared, I hate forgetting to do something or go somewhere. Even with four weeks until their next visit I have already drafted a flexible itinerary. Each morning, everyone asks me: ‘what’s on the agenda’ and I present them with choices— it’s never what I want — it’s always consensual. ‘Today, it’s Wonderland or Blue Mountain, what’s it going to be?’

As we’ve adjusted to each other’s idiosyncrasies, I have also learned to accept their need to have unscheduled time. While I may like planned spontaneity (as I call it) they like to do things completely unplanned. I appreciate and love that about them, even if it’s outside my comfort zone.

By far, the greatest benefit to travelling with another family is laughing. Whether or not your kids are driving you crazy, your husbands stay at the casino until 5 a.m., your wives spend a fortune at the discount mall, or your husband gets a popsicle stuck to his lips, gets pooped on by a seagull or washes his hair with dog shampoo (all in one day!!!) — you just gotta laugh. I can’t recall a time when I laughed so much it hurt!

When our friends left us in May after seven days together it felt like we all lost our best friends. I couldn’t even console my own children because I was inconsolable. While bittersweet, it was a wonderful, unforgettable trip and we are eagerly anticipating their arrival in four weeks.