How we can support today’s father

A father’s role has changed dramatically in the past 15 years. Fathers no longer sit back passively while the mother raises his children, cooks the meals and manages the households.
No, a majority of men have stepped up to become active, positive role models for their sons and daughters. This evolution, however, did not come without sacrifice and it did not come without a concerted effort on behalf of men and the people who support them.

Today’s father, for the most part, still indulges in sports and barbecues but he also savours the memories he makes with his family — an opportunity that was never truly afforded his own father or his father’s father. This Father’s Day and every day, give Dads the support they deserve.

Both daughters and sons benefit from the active involvement of their fathers and his importance in their lives cannot be understated. It is vital that no matter what your marital status that you understand the role a father plays in your child’s life — in ways you may not even be aware of.

Recently I came across a Vanier Institute of the Family report on the importance of fathers in a child’s life. It was so eye opening! In it, I discovered the ways daughters learn about love and relationships from their fathers. They learn how a woman should be treated. If her father treats the women in his life to be respected and honoured, she will expect to be treated the same way as she grows up.
Likewise, sons will learn how to treat women from their own fathers. They will also learn to value the paternal role if their fathers do. They have the potential to learn amazing things from an active father.
A father’s involvement has an effect on a child’s social development, his views on gender roles, relationships and so much more.

You see, fathers are so much more important than they are given credit for. Their involvement has a direct influence on a child —good or bad. And they deserve more responsibility than they are given. According to the report, “A father’s involvement seems to largely depend on how much the mother lets the father participate.”

Men tend to be more involved in raising their children when they have a harmonious, stable and satisfying marital relationship (Snarey, 1993) and when they feel encouraged by their wife to participate more in caring for and in raising their children.” Moms, below you will find a terrific piece on how to bring out the best in your man, and Dads, you will find ways to enhance your relationship with your children.

Single parents are also encouraged to promote a relationship between children and their fathers. The report advocates “frequent and regular contact with the father, to promote the child’s adjustment, except in situations where the father is extremely immature or maladjusted.”

The point is, that while a father and mother are integral to the development of children, we take our hats off to the men who actively participate in their children’s lives.

This Father’s Day represents a milestone in my home. While it has taken a lot of patience on all of our behalfs, this will mark our third Father’s Day as a family of three. The absence of my children’s father has presented a challenge, but it does not diminish his importance in their lives. I won’t let it.

I personally encourage you to do whatever it takes to promote a relationship between your children and their father. If it requires you to let go of the past and swallow your pride, then do it — do it for your children and do it for yourself.

For more information on the role of fathers, visit www.vifamily.ca.