Cultural crashcourse

A parent's guide to navigating cultures and religions

By Danielle Harder

It's common these days for children to have friends from different cultures or faiths. This, of course, opens the doors for you as a parent to make many faux pas. My son once attended a birthday party at which only pepperoni pizza was served. Bad news for the Muslim child who didn't eat pork. The birthday boy's parents felt terrible but the only food consideration they'd made was for allergies.

Naeema Ali is an outreach worker with the Muslim Association of Canada, who says these situations are unavoidable but can be handled without hurting feelings.

"My kids know what they can take and eat," she says. "I try not to be rude about it. That's most important." Likewise, she appreciates it when non-Muslim parents ask and she can make a suggestion, such as having a vegetarian pizza available. To sidestep the landmine of issues, here is a primer on some of the major faiths - a few of the things you should know about other kids' cultures.

Islam (Muslim)
• Muslims do not eat pork or pork products.
• Many eat only halal meat, meat that has been slaughtered according to Islamic dietary laws. This applies to food preparation, i.e. a child cannot eat a cheese pizza if it's cut with the same knife used to cut a pepperoni pizza.
• Pubescent girls are required to wear sweat pants with a hooded sweatshirt for gym and may only swim with other girls.
• Once they hit puberty, girls may wear the hajib, a loose-fitting headscarf. The hajib, according to Ali, is intended to keep the focus on the girl as a person, rather than hair, make-up or clothes.
• Muslims fast from sunrise to sundown during the celebration of Ramadan. Children are not required to fast until puberty but many do so incrementally, i.e. fasting only in the morning.
• Muslims are required to pray five times a day. Again, children are exempt but many do so.
• Muslim homes are expected to be clean at all times so that you may pray anywhere in the house. For this reason, shoes must be taken off at the front door.

Catholic
• Catholics traditionally abstain from eating meat on Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, and Good Friday.
• They may also fast by avoiding certain foods during the season of Lent. Children are not expected to participate but many do.
• First Communion is a major milestone for children seven to eight years old. It is their first celebration of the sacrament of Eucharist. A festive occasion often follows the ceremony, at which children are given gifts.

Protestant
• Many Protestant faiths have a period of voluntary fasting, or giving up part of their diet, during the season of Lent.
• Communion, or the Lord's Supper, is celebrated in most Protestant Churches. Some faiths offer Communion weekly, others a few times a year.

Eastern Orthodox
• There are several periods of fasting, which may include abstaining from all meat products, dairy, eggs, fish and oil during the season of Lent. At other times of the year fish, wine and oil may be allowed. Children are not required to fast, but may if they like.
• Most Orthodox Churches follow the Julian calendar, as opposed to the (Western) Gregorian Calendar, which means Christmas and the Epiphany are celebrated later than Western Churches. Christmas falls on January 6 and Epiphany on January 19.
• Greek Orthodox families dye Easter eggs red only, to represent the blood of Christ.

Sikh
• Sikhs, male or female, must not cut their hair. Sikh boys tie it in a knot and cover it with a small white cloth, or patka.
• There are five sacred Sikh symbols which adult males and boys must have with them at all times: kesh (uncut hair), kangha (comb to keep hair tidy), kara (steel bracelet to symbolize restraint from evil deeds), kirpan (ceremonial sword worn under clothes) and kaccha (cotton shorts to symbolize purity).
• Some Sikhs practice vegetarianism.

Hindu
• Hindus do not eat beef, as cattle are considered sacred
• Some Hindus are vegetarian; non-vegetarian Hindus normally do not eat pork, eggs or egg products, in addition to beef.
• Fasting is often practiced when there is a new moon or during certain festivals.
• Some girls may wear a dot on their forehead, known as a Tilak, or bindi. Traditionally, only married Hindu women wore a bindi but it is becoming more popular with younger, unmarried girls.
• Hindu children only celebrate birthdays once they have reached the age of 16. Until then, however, they do not go to school on their birthdays.

Judaism
• Many Jews eat Kosher, or food prepared in accordance with Jewish dietary laws. Under these laws, meat cannot be eaten with dairy and utensils that have come into contact with non-kosher food may not be used with kosher food. • Pork and rabbit are forbidden.
• A Jewish boy automatically becomes a bar mitzvah at 13 years old, and a girl upon reaching the age of 12, at which time they take responsibility for religious obligations.

Seventh-Day Adventist
• Many Adventists are vegetarian
• They worship on Saturday, the Sabbath.
• Sabbath is focused on family. Sports, recreational activities, work and secular activities are discouraged.
• Secular music, films and television are strongly discouraged.

Jehovah's Witness
• Witnesses do not celebrate most holidays including birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Halloween, New Year's Day, Valentine's Day, Mother's and Father's Days and most national holidays, such as Thanksgiving. Witnesses regard these holidays, and the customs associated with them, as non-Christian.
• Witnesses refrain from saluting the flag of any country or singing the national anthem.

For more information on the world's religions, visit www.beliefnet.com

Danielle Harder is a freelance writer in Whitby, who also teaches healthy eating cooking classes. You can reach her at danielleharder@rogers.com

10.07.07